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Giving in to full court press for the Big V

March 4, 2008

Guys, what would you endure for a weekend in paradise? To not only be able to watch a potential of 48 first- and second- round games of the NCAA men's basketball tournament on TV, but to do so with free pizza and total sympathy from your spouse?

How about a vasectomy?

No, no, no, guys, come back. Take a knee. I heard it advertised the other day on KSCR 1320 AM radio: Oregon Urology Institute's new "Snip City" campaign.

A little pain, lots of gain. Not to mention a free bag of frozen peas.

"We were joking about who wouldn't love to have a vasectomy so they could recover by watching March Madness," says Terry FitzPatrick, the institute's administrator.

Working with Prevedello & Associates advertising in Eugene, the institute already had displayed some subtle whimsy with its wonderful stream-flowing-to-a-trickle TV commercial aimed at guys with urinary challenges.

Why not something even lighter for guys who might be feeling some spousal full-court pressure to have a vasectomy?

FitzPatrick huddled with John Prevedello and others.

"I thought it was a great idea," says Dr. Brady Walker, 38, one of the institute's doctors. "Guys would, electively, never have anybody do anything to their testicles. That's just the male mentality."

But throw in the allure of pizza, a doctor's 'no-exerting-yourself' edict and four days of watching low-seeded teams challenge high-seeded teams - and a man's nobility might soar like Maarty Leunen on a breakaway jam.

"Most guys bounce back in a couple of days," Walker says. "Unfortunately, some stay down longer." Say, from Thursday, March 20, to Sunday, March 23, the length of the first two rounds.

The ad began running in mid-February with Justin Myers, host of KSCR's "Sports Idol" show, doing the play-by-play.

"It's Snip City," he says in the one-minute spot, "and we have the ticket for 24 lucky guys to get their premium vasectomy appointment on the day before the tournament."

"Research shows four out of five guys want to schedule their vasectomy before a major sports event."

The institute, located at 2400 Hartman Lane in Springfield, will schedule 12 guys on March 19 and 12 more March 26.

"Your friends at The Score," Myers says in the ad, "will set you up with a recovery kit that includes a bag of frozen peas, sports magazines, free pizza delivery, plus more."

The institute hopes to complete its 24-man bracket soon; 10 had signed up by Monday morning.

Among the takers: Corey Anderson, 37, the athletic director at Northwest Christian College.

"Like most males, it never would have crossed my mind," he says. "That just wasn't on my Top 10 list of things to do."

But wife Holly - they have three small boys - encouraged him. And the institute's special offer was hard to pass up. "I don't want to know anything about it," he says. "I just want it done." But he's looking forward to - no pun intended - being pampered.

What about me, you ask. I had my brother-in-law-the-doctor do mine after a round of golf, making sure, of course, that he won. No man wants to be operated down there by a doctor seeking revenge. I even took him to Dairy Queen afterward to say thanks, though for some reason I subsequently lost my desire for banana splits.

Some men, Walker says, harbor misconceptions about the Big V: that the procedure will change their hormones or sex drive. "Nope" he says, "Or that they'll swell up the size of a grapefruit. That's pretty uncommon."

Frankly, the procedure makes sense and shouldn't be decided upon lightly. "It's the most cost-effective way for permanent sterility and is easier for the man than a tubal would be for his wife," Walker says. "It requires only a local anaesthetic."

Guys? Uh-oh. Guys, get up. It's tourney time. And, as the ad says, time to go lower your seeds. ~ Bob Welch, Register-Guard

Source: The Register-Guard


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